For a long time, I was extremely reactive. It didn’t take much to set me off, and I found myself getting easily triggered. My emotions often came out in unhealthy ways, and many times, they were directed at the people around me. I would have these intense outbursts, feeling like I needed to express what was building up inside, but in reality, it wasn’t the most helpful way to deal with things. Over time, I realized I had to learn two important things: first, how to express my emotions in a way that helped me feel calmer, more focused, and present; and second, that while it’s important to express emotions, it doesn’t always mean directing them at others.
There’s value in letting people know when something they’ve done makes you feel sad or upset, but I learned that if the emotional expression is too intense, it can overwhelm the person on the receiving end. When our emotional expression is big—full of anger, frustration, or sadness—it can drown out the actual message. The other person may become too focused on the emotion being thrown at them, making it hard to hear or understand the real issue behind it.
When I started working with breathwork and somatic practices, I realized how much I had been holding inside, and how unhealthy my emotional outbursts had become. Emotions, I discovered, aren’t meant to be controlled or suppressed—they’re meant to be expressed in a way that frees us, but in a way that others can still hear us. It became clear to me that healthy emotional expression wasn’t about venting or dumping my feelings on someone else. Instead, it was about creating space for those emotions to come up and be felt fully, without causing harm to myself or others.
Breathwork taught me that emotions live in the body, and when we don’t allow ourselves to feel them, they get stuck. I started practicing letting my emotions come through in ways that didn’t overwhelm the people around me. It wasn’t easy, but once I learned to express myself in a healthier way, I noticed I was less reactive. The anger and frustration that once triggered me so easily became easier to manage. I could feel my emotions rising, but instead of exploding, I could work with them, let them move through me, and express them when it felt safe and productive to do so.
This is something I now help my clients with. Through breathwork, movement, and vocal expression, I guide them to release their emotions in ways that are healthy, intentional, and safe. It’s about finding that balance—feeling everything that’s inside, but learning how to express it without causing harm to others or ourselves. When we express our emotions in a healthy way, it clears out space within us, allowing for deeper healing and more meaningful connections with those around us.
If you want to start expressing your emotions in a healthier way, here are a few simple steps to help you get started:
1. Breathe Into It: When you feel an emotion rising, pause and take a few deep breaths. Let yourself feel the emotion in your body without trying to push it away or analyze it. Notice where you feel it—your chest, your stomach, your throat—and breathe into that space.
2. Move Your Body: Emotions are stored in the body, so movement can be a powerful way to release them. Whether it’s shaking, dancing, stretching, or simply going for a walk, let your body move in whatever way feels natural.
3. Vocal Expression: Sometimes, our emotions need a voice. This doesn’t mean venting or yelling at someone, but giving yourself permission to make noise—whether it’s sighing, humming, or even shouting into a pillow. Vocalizing can help release the energy of the emotion in a way that feels safe.
4. Create a Safe Space: Find a space where you feel comfortable expressing your emotions. This could be in your breathwork practice, during meditation, or even while journaling. Let this be a space where you can feel whatever comes up without judgment or fear.
Remember, emotions are not the enemy. They’re signals from your body, asking for attention. When we allow ourselves to express them in a healthy way, we open the door to deeper healing, clarity, and connection.
With Love,
JJ